Response to Newsweek's "Gay Marriage: Our Mutual Joy"

(Originally posted on Dec. 12, 2008 on Facebook)

I posed this story as my status the first day it became available online, but something so important to me deserves a little more attention. If you haven't read "Gay Marriage: Our Mutual Joy" you can read it in its entirety here: http://www.newsweek.com/id/172653

Even though I knew most things covered in the story, I could help but tear up while reading. I spent about a year of my life researching endlessly for this sort of information, as I tried to figure out whether or not I would go to hell for being gay. At one point, I can honestly admit, I researched ex-gay programs.

There are many gay Christians out there, who like me, aren't satisfied with the simplicity of (to use a metaphor from my small group at Alma) "the teddy bear" God. For someone who truly believes in right and wrong (with some subjectivism thrown in), deciding to come out was a decision that involved a lot of research, a lot of critical thought, and a lot of faith. There are many pro-gay analyses of Biblical passages, I agree with about 75 percent of them.

There is one aspect of this issue I was sad to see ignored in the story. I do realize how absolutely loaded the story is, and I wouldn't want it to lose focus, but the struggle of gay Christians within the gay community is really underplayed and ignored. If there is a 'gay culture' it is largely amoral and it is really difficult for glbt christians to feel like they aren't compromising either of their identities. Now, I would argue that pop culture across the board is largely amoral, but for glbt youth, or those just coming out, we search for the right way to act, dress, etc. from the few examples that exist. From my experience, there are very few, if any examples, that aren't laced with stereotypes and promiscuous sex. Quite frankly, we need a queer religious role model if we ever want real assimilation.

For those of you interested in some very accessible information, I recommend:

1. The documentary "For the Bible Tells me So" (it's also available on rental programs like netflix and blockbuster)
http://www.forthebibletellsmeso.org/indexc.htm

2. http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.org/biblical_evidence/history_lessons.html
This includes a number of biblical passages, including a more in depth look at the love between David and Jonathan. As well as analyses of Ruth and the meaning of the term "eunuch" throughout the Bible. I personally agree with most of this, but don't know if I'm convinced of all arguments.

3. "When same-sex marriage was a Christian rite" http://www.colfaxrecord.com/detail/91429.html
This details the story of a same-sex union between two saints and martyrs in the fourth century AD.

4. For more information on same-sex unions blessed by the Church throughout Europe, I recommend "Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality" by John Boswell. This is a long, incredibly well researched argument. I haven't made it all the way through the book yet :( There are some great summaries and debates surrounding his argument online, though. http://www.amazon.com/Christianity-Social-Tolerance-Homosexuality-Fourteenth/dp/0226067114

5. "Seven Passages: the story of gay Christians"- this was a play produced by Calvin College. I was lucky enough to go see it when it was performed at Western Michigan last year. This focuses more on the personal struggle of those trying to align their sexual orientation and their faith. The educational DVD can be found here: http://www.actorstheatregrandrapids.com/actorsrandom2.html